OUTLINES OF CIRCLES
I want to trace the outlines
of every blood cell in your body.
It might be only monotonously tracing circles
but maybe then I’d be closer to knowing
the paths of your bloodstream.
We’re only streams of movement anyway;
nothing we’ve eve done is deliberate
but I’ll continue to try to tear through
your consciousness, like tearing a hole
through the four cream walls of your home
where you first traced me
THE MOMENT I KNEW
The first time you smiled at me,
I died in a heaven of cosmo dreams.
I saw hues of gold that don’t exist
and beauty in my darkest days.
I WANTED TO IMPRESS YOU WITH MY LOVE FOR PLANTS
If I were a tree,
you’d be my roots
keeping me safe
If you were a tree,
I’d be your branches
keeping you balanced
what i would give
to live like the ivy
that covers the house
I dream of everyday.
We’d be intertwined
all the time and never
lose sight of what
we mean to this life.
you feel like home
and I would cover
you and keep you warm.
feeling sorry for myself
I crossed six bridges today
hoping you would be at
the end of each one.
The two things that we share are time
and the commodity of a home that only
knows how to breathe blood into our lungs.
I’m starting to fold over because it’s always
the same and it’s tired.
we can never belong to each other.
I think i can never be certain by the way
we say what we feel.
Sometimes the more you speak,
the less your words mean.
it was nice
Sometimes I would remind myself
of people I’ll never see again.
It's such a funny thing;
how some days I refuse to look at myself
in the mirror like how you wouldn’t look
me in the eyes every time I asked
if you would ever miss me.
Because maybe I don’t want to know your answer,
and maybe I don’t want to see what you might see,
or how I may reflect back in your eyes.
It opens like a fresh memory,
like chapped lips and how they bleed
when I laugh at how pathetic I am
for hoping that we could get back to the start,
and wonder why I even thought of it.
Maybe this is why I decided to give up
on a hopelessly tired you.
But the funniest thing is that
I still manage to keep you in the back of my brain.
I guess that is my answer.
Short lived connections are heartbreaking.
I am so happy to have you in my life,
I am so happy to see you happy.
I want to live in the creases of your face,
I don't think I deserve to be part of your skin.
Fuck, I am so happy.
I have so many feelings for you.
I'm at the bottom of a well counting
all the times i begged on wishes on coins that
fell into an abyss that led to nothing
but false dreams and dust, hoping that one day
it would bring you back home.
you'll never read my poems
if one day my life comes to an unexpected end,
something that i would regret is that i never
made it a point to send some of my words to
people to read.
there is so much pain in knowing that you never
got to read the things i wrote for you, the letters
that will never be responded to, and the loneliness
that these words have because they will never be read.
I find myself surveying the skies in the wake of my dreams
Hoping I find the single door that will lead me to a reality
Where you still exist in my world and maybe then,
We could just both wake up in a more bearable existence.